I get the attraction, Suitcasejefferson. Don't get me wrong: I'd give a UCE a good home and like 'em fine, but there's just something about those much-maligned old "Iron Belly" engineering fossils that "scratches that itch" others can't reach. They're almost luridly pretty, for one thing. Another aspect I've been noticing lately is that if it is feeling "fussy" about something mine somehow lets me know almost telepathically. It's actually a little spooky. For example, day before yesterday on the homeward trek from one of my "Mental Health Jaunts" it began running just a little rough and choppy. The following day I just sort of sat with it, giving it nice wipedown, as one does, when it suddenly occurred to me to check the positive lead connection to the battery. Sure enough, it was a little loose. One couldn't really tell visually that this was the case, but sure enough it's running sweetly again. Before that it was a loose connection to the coil, and before that a slightly loose head steady bolt that was emitting a buzzing only at speed, at least such as that concept exists with on older model Bullet. In each case I just suddenly somehow
knew precisely what and where the issue was without the typical diagnostic slog. So, a little sympathetic intuition and not just "letting things slide" goes a long way in ameliorating their reputed "unreliability" and happily nursing them along. I'd be the first to suggest that they ain't for
everyone, but given your background, and with the right sweetly-dispositioned bike, I do believe you're the right sort to make a go of it, clearly hearing your bike's mechanical "Manitou" (soul of the seemingly inanimate, see:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manitou). Sounds flakey, sure, but there you have it. I just suspect an "Iron Belly's" more solely mechanical and primitive guts might make a louder and clearer "squeak" than more latter-day designs.
As has already been mentioned in this thread, David Blasco's fine "Royal Enfields for Sale in the USA" site at
https://royal-enfields.blogspot.com/ is a good place to keep a weather eye out for likely "Iron Belly" candidates for adoption near you, like that recent promising-looking one in Utah. I would only mention that if you're using a mobile device browser, for proper display you should either tick the "Desktop Site" option (under the three vertical dots icon at upper right) or just delete that "?m=1" business at the end of the web address or URL. Otherwise, you won't really be able to view it properly. Presently there aren't any Iron Cylinder Engined ones on there, but they'll be around again...