top ten reasons Uncle Ernie shouldn't go trick or treating anymore:
10: He gets winded from knocking on the door
9: He has to have another kid chew the candy for him
8: He asks for high fiber candy only
7: When someone drops a candy bar in his bag, he loses his balance and
falls over
6: People say "Great Keith Richards mask" and he's not wearing a mask
5: When the door opens he yells " Trick or......" and can't remember the rest
4: By the end of the night he has a bag full of restraining orders
3: He has to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge his hairpiece
2: He is the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker
1: He avoids going to houses where his ex-wives live.