[deadbat]

My missus is fed up with all my gear scattered around the house and so I'm after a helmet rack that will also have a couple of hooks for jackets and glove storage. I've got a nice spot in my utility room and got permission ( ) to use that bit of a wall, but I have no idea what to get, so I would appreciate any recommendations.

Thanks.

[Bilgemaster]

Perhaps a few of these may be useful in delineating your "Man Stuff"...

A quick Google search of Penis Coat Hook will provide a host of more anatomically correct and dare I say impressive examples in brass or other more rigid materials, many of which will also double as handy bottle openers should you favor those imports or IPAs without those modern twist-off caps.

Historically you'd be in grand company, as the Ancient Romans were quite fond of a good schlong to bless and delineate various boundaries, both physical and social. In fact, this topic came up here on the Forum previously in a discussion of so-called "gremlin bells": https://forum.classicmotorworks.com/index.php?topic=31330.msg377129#msg377129. You recall those Vestal Virgins of theirs? Well, click that link to learn how they enjoyed festooning the chariots of their heros of yore in those sporty two-wheelers of their epoch. So, arraying "a bag of dicks", as we curiously like to say here in The Colonies, handily around the homestead to meet your vehicular and other needs seems only right and proper and with noble historical precedence, yes?

[deadbat]

Not what I expected, but thank you for your input

[Bilgemaster]

Glad to help! Alternatively, it has been my experience as a happily-married drone for just shy of a quarter century now, that those X chromosomes always respond favorably to breakfast with a nice cappuccino and a romp through IKEA. I expect it awakens their personally satisfying "nesting behavior". Accordingly, one of these might suit and perhaps also earn you a "pub pass" in the bargain:  https://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/products/?q=coat%20rack

In fact, I confess my own riding gear is stowed sedately and less phallically on one of those "PANGET Hat and coat rack, 43¼ inch" in our foyer. At the risk of perhaps triggering our esteemed member 'derottone', who clearly has some longstanding beef with the Viking hordes, the one we have is some sort of nice solid Scandinavian spruce with an "oaky" stained but naturally grained finish, and I can assure you that its hooks have proven adequate to the task of supporting even my fairly weighty waxed cotton riding gear. Proper wooden hangars also help--also available there at IKEA.