[Richard230]

 

[Hoiho]

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. "What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup", replied the drunk. "How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one-another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole. It's three-fifteen in the morning!"

[Richard230]

 

[Hoiho]

[Hoiho]

[Karl Childers]

I think they are the opening act for this band:

[Hoiho]

I think they are the opening act for this band:

Love the Oswald Band!

[cyrusb]

Scary Funny...

[Hoiho]

[Hoiho]

[Richard230]

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week’. The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.’ The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

As Ronald Reagan said: "Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.”   

[Richard230]

 

[GlennF]

Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Realist: That glass is filthy, I am not drinking out of it regardless of how full it is.

[Richard230]

 

[Richard230]

Bikes are permitted on public transit.