[Cabo Cruz]

One year, this fellow bought his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift and she asked him: Why didn't you buy me
a gift this year?  The son-in-law replied: Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!

And that's how the fight started...

[HRAB]

Last night my wife announced: "Do you need any reservations before I leave."
I replied: "Are you leaving me?"
After a long pause she said: "I meant [my retirement from Delta in November] ... WHY DID YOU SOUND SO HAPPY!"
jim

[singhg5]

One year, this fellow bought his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift and she asked him: Why didn't you buy me
a gift this year?  The son-in-law replied: Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!

And that's how the fight started...

Thank you br Cabo for a good laugh.  HA, HA, HA, HA        

[1Blackwolf1]

  ..good one Cabo.

[single]

 Pretty funny.I'd use it on my mother but she's already got a crypt.

[clamp]

My wife asked which dress do you like ,   the red one or the blue one,-- I said oh errrm duh --the blue one.

     She said --"and what wrong with the red one? 

[bob bezin]

 Lena was standing in front of a mirror in the bedroom and said "ole i tink i'm gettin old , i got this spare tire round my waist and all these wrinkels and my boobs are saggin."..ole says "well lena at least your eyesight is still good."

[PhilJ]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high 
school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady 
swigging her drink  as she sat alone at a nearby table. 

My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she 
took to drinking right 
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she 
hasn't been sober since.' 
 
My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a 
person could go on celebrating that long?' 
 
And then the fight started..... 
 

[2bikebill]

 

[ScooterBob]

So, The wife comes out of the bedroom in a new dress, turns around and says "Does this dress make my butt look too big?" I replied - "No - you butt makes your dress look too big ....."

Then the fight started ........... 

[woodboats]

LOL
Funny thread.

[1Blackwolf1]

  My brother sent me this long ago...

[csbdr]

I love these!  Found on another site and thought I'd share..

My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we
were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing
50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.
*********************************************
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

[Tiny Tim]

I bought my mother in law a chair for Christmas but my wife won't let me plug it in.

[Cabo Cruz]

 

[1Blackwolf1]

  I think the current Geico commercial is a wailer..you know the one that starts out with was Abe Lincoln honest?  Always get a good chuckle out of that one.  That would really start a fight....

[prof_stack]

The wife complained that she wanted to go somewhere she hadn't been in a long time. 

So, the husband took her into the kitchen.

That's when the fight started.

[singhg5]

A man bought his son an iPod, his daughter an iPhone and for himself an iPad.  He felt sorry for his wife.  So he bought her an iRon.  That is when all hell broke loose.