[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

There are a few niche bikes in this country that, while small in number, attract a loyal following. These members seem to take up where the manufacturer has shown weakness and provide the advice and help that without which the task of owning one of these bikes would seem insurmountable.

Ural, for example, has a strong forum (www.sovietsteeds.com) with tech articles and advice that are extremely helpful. One member has a web page with step by step instructions (with pictures) to complete a number of repairs. There is a member who has developed a number of mods that are and improvement to or a supplement to the factory bike. One guy has developed alternative exhaust systems and engine parts.

Moto Guzzi has the wildguzzi forum that assists in repairs and the free exchange of ideas helps keeping a marque running smoothly, despite the lack of company support.

Here on the Enfield forum, we have dealers joining in with help, and a number of members have given help and advice that is invaluable. Ace, besides being an encyclopedia of knowledge, had produced numerous products to improve these bikes, like the air filter, oil cooler, and oil filter.
In our respective forums we know by name these innovative and helpful members. For this, I am extremely grateful.
However...
(to be continued)

[Chasfield]

I'm on tenterhooks here, waitin' on the next episode.

 

[UncleErnie]

Bernie needs to quit the milk and brownies for breakfast.

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

However... there is an individual on this board whose insight and ingenuity is making serious advances in improving our motorcycling experiences. To honor his request for anonymity, I will shield his identity and simply refer to him as Uncle Exxxx...

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

Curiosity had gotten the best of me, and I knew I had to meet this inventor and experimenter before his success makes him inacessable to the common man. Once he wins the Nobel Price for Motorcycling, he will be hanging around with other Nobel prize winners like Jimmy Carter, Barak Hussein Obama, FatAl Gore, and similarly qualified recipients.
Uncle Exxxx had turned down sever requests to meet, so I had to set a plan in motion.
I appealed to his interest in Enfields and sidecars. He agreed to meet...

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

We met in public, at the Moto Guzzi dealer. No one buys Moto Guzzi's anyways, so I knew we would be alone and I could pick his brain to see what he was working on.
   Uncle Exxxx is a very private person, almost to the point of paranoia, and I needed access to his inventions if I was to copy them and race to the Pattern office before he could register them. I had to somehow gain his trust and get him to invite me back to his workshop....

 

[PhilJ]

So much for tenterhooks Chasfield, your just being hung out to dry! 

[Cabo Cruz]

Hell, it's more like getting screwed (to the wall) and not getting kissed!

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

Uncle Exxxx arrived, in full racing pattern on his cafe'd Enfield. I smiled and shook his hand, and he cautiously engaged in conversation. Actually he was very reserved, giving up little information. His bike was adorned with with a gleaming aluminum tank. It was unlike any aluminum tank i have ever seen before. Towards the front, perfectly positioned on each side, was a smooth indentation. Pure geniousL I could see these were arranged so when moving the air would flow through these indentations and up onto the rider, thus cooling him in hot weather. I also suspect the bernouli principle of lift applies here, thus lightening the front end and reducing draft. When I inquired about selecting the location of these smooth indentations he claimed he "accidentally dented" one side so he "took a hammer" to the other side to match.
   yeah, sure, like someone would purposely dent an expensive aluminum tank. I immediately realized I had a wily adversary, and getting information out of him was going to take all the cunning I could muster...

[Chasfield]

Go-faster dents! I'm makin' notes here. Please continue.

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

Uncle Exxxx modified his catch can system, but unlike others here he had the tube running to a coke bottle mounted in the footpeg area. To the untrained eye, this would seem like an eccentric mod. But I immediately recognized the commercial value of this. Coke. The South. Nascar. The coke bottle could be used in the south and by getting coke sponsorship, I could have tens of Enfields running around the south, advertising Coke (for a fee). In New England the coke bottle could be replaced by a Dunkin' Donuts cup, in Milwaukee it could be a beer bottle etc. The possibilities are endless.
   Uncle Exxxx replaced his left sidecover with a pvc tube, painted black, and big enough to carry the electrics. i visaulized a Quaker Oats color scheme.

[Chasfield]

Would the Coke bottle be helping aerodynamics too, I wonder. Might be good for 8mph on the top end.

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

Sensing he gave me too much info, Uncle Exxxx stopped giving out ideas. That was all right, I had what I needed. Now I had to get rid of him. I figured I'd take him on a curvy road and speed up and ditch him. He could find his own way home, if not they'd find him in the Hendersonville wilderness come spring.
 I made a comment about how if he took the excess droplets of oil that he collected in the coke bottle oeverflow and strained it through a sock, and if everyone owning an enfield did that, they could collect a couple of gallons a year and FatAl Gore could save a polar bear. I was being sarcastic of course, but Uncle Exxxx mistook that for sincerity and started talking about saving the planet of some such rubbish. Damn liberals, once you get them talking they don't shut up.
     Then, mistaking me for a concerned citizen he let it slip...
  

[Blue Ridge Wheeltor]

He told me he was working on an alternative form of energy.

[Chasfield]

You saying he's packing a nuke on that rig?

Lordy!