These open displays of jealousy really should stop.
You want to be me, don't you...
You know, I really think a man of your stature and standing in the commuity really deserves an aluminium tank and stock solenoid. It just doesn't make sense that you would deprive yourself of the little things that add so much to an otherwise mundane life. In fact- just to get you started, I have some Avon tires I'll GIVE you. They really complement the look, and they handle just as well as... and they're round and black and everything! I'll leave them on the front porch. That way, one night when you're doing one of your drive-bys, you can just get out and pick them up.