Singhg5 - you are correct about everything you said about my experience. To be honest, I couldn't quite follow your description as I am currently asleep on my feet after a long drive to Philadelphia to attend my grandmother's funeral - she lived to 101 years old!
My problem was, all the 5 wires on my OEM relay disappeared into some sort of hard bedding compound which completely hid all the connections. As it turned out, the red wire was the supplying the fuses, connected to the battery cable at the relay instead of somewhere else. The diagram does indeed not accurately show the actual hookup of the wires. I used a 4-connector relay, and attached the small red wire to the same large battery cable lead which runs right to the positive battery terminal.