Kevin,
Loose is good for your rockers.
.0045" cold lash would be the "neutral setting" for your rocker ratio.
Regarding noise, rockers just like ours are routinely run in racing cars and hot rods at .020" lash, so no real worries about beating anything up from lash.
But, if you prefer it where you have it, by all means, use that setting.
BTW, have you checked your compression to see how much it was with these rockers? I remember one comment about low rpm torque when you were setting up your SuperTrapp exhaust. This rocker ratio can lower dynamic compression, and your torque may benefit from removing some of the gasket thickness under the barrel.