scoTTy - I have a similar problem. Most times when I listen to music, with or without headphones, I feel it is necessary to listen loud enough that it drowns out all other surrounding noise. Hence, why I go through a good pair of headphones every 2 years and almost always have 1000 watts or more in the trunk of my car.
Right now in my '95 Legacy Wagon I have Alpine speakers in my doors and 1200 watts (with the gain at about half way so I can still hear myself think lol) in the back with single 10" Sony. I used to have 2 - 10" Sony subs but I sold 1 because it was just too much.
Now between my selective hearing and damaged hearing, I have the ability to tune out anything and when someone gets mad because I didn't hear them I just honestly say "Sorry, I'm deaf. What did you say?" Except my wife, I just tell her "Hunny. Deaf." OH! I also used to own a Laney 120watt 4-12 Half Stack and an Ibanez RG Custom that used to
REALLY piss off the neighbors. I sold those quite a few years ago.
Scottie J