Author Topic: JOTD  (Read 101119 times)

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Richard230

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Reply #1005 on: April 27, 2019, 11:05:33 am
 man goes into hospital for a vasectomy: When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously. "Is there a problem doc?" The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes. "I'm afraid so, I'm so sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy." The patient is devastated and shockingly replies. "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another er-ec-tion." The surgeon pauses for a moment then says. "Well, you might, but it won't be yours!"
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Richard230

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Reply #1006 on: May 02, 2019, 04:43:51 pm
Ain't it the truth.  ::)
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Richard230

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Reply #1007 on: May 09, 2019, 04:05:03 pm
Here is a good one.  Then and Now. :D
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Richard230

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Reply #1008 on: May 14, 2019, 09:20:09 am
So I asked Alexa "What do women want?"

The fuckin thing hasn't shut up for three days.
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Richard230

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Reply #1009 on: May 17, 2019, 08:49:07 am
I hear that Iron Barrels are now being ridden by goats.   ;D
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derottone

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Reply #1010 on: May 18, 2019, 06:19:29 am
I hear that Iron Barrels are now being ridden by goats.   ;D

...they must have come loose somehow.


gizzo

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Reply #1011 on: June 03, 2019, 06:13:47 pm
...
simon from south Australia
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Richard230

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Reply #1012 on: June 07, 2019, 09:26:01 am
Time for some sad book cartoons.  :(
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Richard230

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Reply #1013 on: June 12, 2019, 09:06:14 am
Irish joke.
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Narada

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Reply #1014 on: June 22, 2019, 11:50:49 am
Now that's funny!
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chuychacon

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Reply #1015 on: June 22, 2019, 07:42:50 pm
OiL is so funny 1
except when its on the road
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Arizoni

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Reply #1016 on: June 23, 2019, 04:54:55 pm
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask a psychologist what to do.

The psychologist said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests."

Two days before Christmas, Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

"I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning against the garage."

Christmas morning, little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a large pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another big pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.

When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "So, what did Santa bring you this year?"

Johnny replied, "I think I got a dog, but I can't find the son-of-a-bitch!"
Jim
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Arizoni

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Reply #1017 on: June 28, 2019, 07:48:52 pm
A business man put an ad in the newspaper for an accountant for his business.

The next morning he found three guys sitting outside his office waiting for an interview so he asked the first one to follow him into his office.

He asked the man, "What does 5, 4 and 8 equal?"

Without a blink the man answered, "17".

Without asking another question the business man said, "Your excused.  On your way out, tell the next man to come in."

The second man entered the off ice and the business man asked, "What does 12,000 plus 1750 plus 1954 equal?"
In a flash the man answered, "15704".

The business man said, "Your excused.  On your way out, tell the next man to come in."

The third man entered the room and the business man asked, "What does 18756 plus 12903 plus 12867 equal?"

The third man said, "What do you want it to equal?"
The business man said, "Your hired."
Jim
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Richard230

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Reply #1018 on: July 02, 2019, 05:25:06 pm
So my youngest son is a police officer and just married a few months back. He came home one evening after his shift, tired and disheveled. His young bride of a few months was concerned and asked "what happened tonight?"
He told her about having to chase a young thug across several yards and over a few fences before the suspect eluded him. His young wife said "you must feel bad that he got away"
He told her that he was a little upset, but that the thug wasn't running with 20 extra pounds around the middle.
His wife replied, "I know, and I bet that gun belt and equipment are heavy too"
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1