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Author Topic: JOTD  (Read 87476 times)

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Richard230

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Reply #975 on: January 11, 2019, 09:31:13 am
For my birthday, my friend bought me a book called "Road Kill Recipes". As luck would have it, the next day I came across some road kill so I cooked it according to one of the recipes in the book and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what to do with the bike.
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1


Richard230

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Reply #976 on: January 11, 2019, 09:31:35 am
I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1


Richard230

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Reply #977 on: January 11, 2019, 09:32:09 am
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

My girlfriend is a porn star. She'll kill me if she finds out.
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1


Richard230

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Reply #978 on: January 11, 2019, 09:32:36 am
During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall whilst carrying the coffin and when they do so they hear a faint moan. So they open the casket only to find that the woman inside is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years after this and then eventually dies and so there's another funeral for her. At the end of the service, as the pallbearers carry out the casket, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1


Richard230

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Reply #979 on: January 11, 2019, 09:33:08 am
I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died... " Are you still holding the ladder?"
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1


Richard230

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Reply #980 on: January 14, 2019, 09:15:54 am
I thought my vasectomy would keep my girlfriend from getting pregnant but apparently all it does is change the color of the baby.
2011 Royal Enfield B5 500, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2005 Triumph Bonneville T-100, 2002 Yamaha FZ1


Bert Remington

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Reply #981 on: January 22, 2019, 10:22:17 pm
2016 RE Classic 500 CA version Fair-Weather Mountain Bike
2012 MG Norge 1200GT 8V roller lifters All-Season Freeway Cruiser
2000 BMW R1100RT "Ride Not Taken"