While your having fun following the big red wire from the + terminal on the battery, follow the big black wire too.
On some bikes this black ground wire isn't making a good contact with the frame and that can cause the weak electrical power your bike seems to have.
Failing to start with the kick starter is rather unusual.
Is the computer booting up and the red light going out when the key is first turned on?
Can you hear the fuel pump operating for a few seconds when the key is first turned on?
Are you nudging the piston up against the compression to TDC before you give it a stout kick?
Very odd.
General observations/methods (w/brand new battery):
1. Key turned in ignition = starter relay switch buzzes and then stops, neutral light on, headlight on, engine light on (stays on). Horn works, signals work, etc.
2. Electric start engaged = incomplete engine turnover (it tries).
3. Kickstart = nothing but a short thump (all lights mentioned above are still on).
4. Relay starter switch unplugged = all lights/dials on, same incomplete engine turnover, kickstart has same issues.
Observations upon further investigation of solenoid/wires:
I took my seat off, found the solenoid starter unit mounted to the frame (the two bolts holding it to the frame were different sizes!). Took it off, and found that the copper-colored piece of the assembly that fits into the black plastic part the wires from the battery, etc. run into are SUPERGLUED together. They
cannot be separated. So, I have no idea how I would even check within the assembly for problems. Yay. All other wires and various things are mounted properly and appear normal.
Looks like a tow to my dealer 100 miles away is in order. Great.